True but thats because hes a fetus.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
NoShamevember. You game?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
