He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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