I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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