You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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