Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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