Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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