He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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