just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the raccoons are back...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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