They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I wear drunk well.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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