yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize