I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
