i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
