can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just had sex on a roof
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize