dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
