i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
