I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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