somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you will always have a special place in my vag
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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