so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We were destined to go to rehab together
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
