I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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