Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
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I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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