just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
