you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
