I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
