Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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