i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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