On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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