insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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