I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
