if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
