im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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