The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
