I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize