Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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