No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
