Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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