i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
