i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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