just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
