If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm really busy with my period
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