Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
