i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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