that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
