you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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