Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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