fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
