college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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