I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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