I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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