Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize