omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize