Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
