Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
did i just pee glitter
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
