Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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