Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
