Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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