From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
