i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize